How I Found Aris product image (1)
How I Found Aris product image (2)
How I Found Aris product image (3)
How I Found Aris product image (4)
How I Found Aris product image (1)
How I Found Aris product image (2)
How I Found Aris product image (3)
How I Found Aris product image (4)

How I Found Aris

$20.50

The front of the shirt chronicles a tale as old as time:

"I googled 'euthanizations performed by goth muscle mommies in my area", but all I found was ArisTHOTtle on Twitch." The text is almost entirely in purple, except for ArisTHOTtle, which is in green. The purple blends in on purpose.

Since all jokes are funnier the more than you explain them (no, EB White, you do not kill the frog of a joke in the dissection, you nerd), I have included the following explanation on the back:

"My search's failure epitomizes the enshittification of technology via tech companies selling their customers out by actively programming algorithms that make our lives worse but marketing them as futures worth wanting (thus my search for euthanizations by goth muscle mommies as mentioned previously)."

The text is almost entirely in purple, which blends in. The letters in green spell out "ilovearisthottle".

It's printed on a Gildan shirt, so it's thin. But this feels better in warmer climates.

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More details

  • Solid colors are 100% ring-spun cotton
  • Sport Grey is 90% ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester
  • Heather colors are 65% polyester, 35% cotton
  • Lightweight fabric (4.2 oz)
  • Relaxed fit
  • Unisex sizing

Size & Fit

View size chart

Quality Guarantee & Returns

  • Quality is guaranteed. If there is a print error or visible quality issue, we'll replace or refund it.
  • Because the products are made to order, we do not accept general returns or sizing-related returns.

How I Found Aris Size Guide

Size guide preview
Size label Length Width Sleeve length
S
28
18
16.75
M
29
20
17.88
L
30
22
19.13
XL
31
24
20.38
2XL
32
26
21.63
3XL
33
28
22.75

Measurements are provided by suppliers. Product measurements may vary by up to 2" (5 cm).

Pro tip! Measure one of your products at home and compare with the measurements you see in this guide.

 


A Length

Place the end of the tape beside the collar at the top of the tee (Highest Point Shoulder). Pull the tape measure to the bottom of the shirt.


B Width

Place the end of the tape at the seam under the sleeve and pull the tape measure across the shirt to the seam under the opposite sleeve.


C Sleeve length

Place the end of the tape at the center back of the collar, then pull the tape measure along the top seam of the sleeve. When you get to the shoulder hold the tape in place at the shoulder and continue to pull down the sleeve until you reach the hem of the sleeve.

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